Why Do Men Act This Way?

Ethan Sands
es700016@ohio.edu

There are people in this world who have begun to normalize all men. Usually because of some sort of pain that they have gone through in relation to a guy from their past. But has anyone really delved into why these men have been so toxic, or their childhood that could have pushed them to be harmful. Let me make myself clear though, I am not talking about serial killers or rapists who get off on their sentences because of their past. I am more so referring to the men who have led women on, don't put in effort where it is due and, sadly, men who cheat on their girlfriends.

Masculinity is something that has been questioned for a long time because of how it has been illustrated by men and perceived by women. The fact that there has been and overarching change in the understanding of masculinity. There is a lot to be said of how the LGBTQ+ community has had an impact on the way men freely experiment with their masculinity.

There are examples of people who step over these boundaries of masculinity that we seem to be boxed in as men. The idea that clothing can be sexual or have a single-sex has been starting to change. Jaden Smith has been seen to openly wear what he wants and not care about the thoughts and reactions of anyone, even his father.

 

Jaden Smith has become an icon for stepping beyond the masculine beliefs that men can only wear a certain style of clothing. In a recent interview on a new series on Facebook called "Red Table Talk," he stated that he began to wear the skirt to simply look fly. Though his father "has his feelings" about the style, he never rejected it. In fact, this is indication that Will and Jada Smith allowed Jaden and Willow to have freedom with their beliefs. Willow also tests the standard of femininity because of her unshaved underarms. This family is the epitome of change as they have started the trend of being different.

On Wednesday, October 24, 2018, there was an event held that allowed students to ask Will Cooper, an Ohio University alum who now works at Vice, questions. He discussed the toxic masculinity in its essence. He elaborated on the topics discussed in his piece, "All Masculinity is Toxic." The point that Cooper made was striking as he defines masculinity as an oppressor. In his dialogue on Wednesday, he went deeper into the topic as he broke down how he related to the information he gained from John Stoltenberg. Cooper described how his emotions were derived from the lack of emotion that he received from his father. He stated that because of his experience with strictly one feeling from his dad that he did not know how to act out of that small box. Cooper then mentioned that throughout his journey as a college student, he had to teach himself how to open up to other emotions. This is seen in his piece from 2017, "I Was Forced to Fight, Now I'm Learning to Cry," where he has a quote that defines who he was as a person - "Never in my life have I witnessed a man in my family cry--not my grandfathers, not my father, and not my older brothers."

I believe that a lot of men could make this distinct connection if they only looked within themselves to find it. This is by no means an easy task but to combat the disdain that we have as men for women. Our masculinity is already a power, why do we have to use it against them?